My name is Christine and I’m a recovering compulsive overeater

My name is Christine and I’m a recovering compulsive overeater and one day at a time for 10,608 days; or 29.03 years: 254,577 hours.

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out”: Step 11. How do I do all this and stay in the moment?

Independence Day July 2023 – Indulge in Independence from food & as the big book states “if tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame… so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.” Pages 84-85. My objective, living an abstinent life…. “we have become God conscious…begun to develop this vital sixth sense” pg 85.

In my words ‘God, I surrender myself to you take care of everything.’ How do I be in the moment and let God show me how to be in the moment
Prayer and meditation as I understand it, is a relationship with God & as an any relationship it develops over time and becomes deeper. It has been said prayer is talking to God and meditation is listening to God. God listens to my heart not my words and as in any relationship it becomes more intimate the more time that I spend with God. On the days that I don’t take quiet time first thing in the morning God is following me all day saying, ‘How about Me?’ You have time for this and that but how about me? Well, that is in my head, God is always waiting for me.

Meditation or contemplation is communion in silence.When I began my journey in OA, I was very limited in what I knew about the 12 steps, but I had a belief in God & my relationship with God came from my ancestors at that time. My intimacy with God today is totally different, in fact amazing. I came into the program with 20 to 25 extra pounds on my body and 500 pounds in my head, I definitely was not in the moment. Crazy was more like it. I learned from an insistent sponsor and others to take “quiet time.”

My ideal day starts with reading daily readers, including one I have been reading since 1980, prior to program. Follow by writing, it can include a Dear God letter and a response from God. Concluded with, Most Important, sitting quietly for 20 minutes at a minimum & listening. How? Picking one word; concentrating on my breathing and just to be and shut down my mind. God wants to love me and to be there for me with my mind quiet and open to Him.

One of the things that helps me is working on being in the moment- when I came to program almost 3 decades ago, I didn’t have a committee in my head but the whole conference! My mind is the source of my problems!One of the ways I learn to be in the moment and know what God wants for me is to use the ‘sixth sense’ the God sense.

I have five senses: hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, smelling and my mind or thoughts. All my actions, positive or negative, are triggered by my feelings, emotions & my mind. That is why I ate! I felt sad I ate, I felt happy I ate, etc. Since my feelings and emotions are primary cause of my regrettable actions, I must look at keeping them in check so I can be in the moment. ‘Conscious Contact with God.’If I am in the past and not in the moment, I am not doing God’s will. I ask, How do I feel right now? I always want to create self-awareness about how I feel in the moment.

It’s a tripod of sorts, accepting myself in any feelings, emotion, or mood I am in all the time; I have to love myself in any feeling, emotion or mood I am in all the time and I have to forgive myself any actions caused by my feeling, emotion or mood all the time.
What is God asking me every moment?

So, the question remains:How can I be of maximum service to God? and it starts for me by listening in the silence.