Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Alcoholics Anonymous pages 76-84.
The clear- cut directions for Step 9 are laid out in our beloved AA Big Book in the chapter “Into Action. “As a lazy person, I do not like the title of the chapter but because I am already heavenly invested in completing the previous steps, I will keep moving forward in my program of recovery. Without which I cannot be sober or abstinent through the grace of God, and a lot of help from my fellow compulsive overeaters, for 27 years.
“Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” AABB page 27.
My Progression to Connectedness
When I hit my bottom and came into recovery, I had to ask for help. I lived in isolation, so this was not easy, but my pain was a great motivator. Then my sponsor took me through the steps, and I became connected to a Higher Power. I am much too lazy to have done all that writing without help from HP. The reading of my 5th Step was taking my relationship with my sponsor to a whole new level of intimacy. I had never known the truth about how I operated in the world without God and now I was sharing what I had found out with my sponsor. Step 9 takes me to getting even more connected with others with whom I had harmed, which frees me up from living in fear. I still practice Step 9 daily by way of direct amends or living amends. It keeps me connected no matter how much I want to hide from the truth of how I can be an unlovely creature.
Suggestions from my sponsor before going to make amends: Pray. Stand ready for God’s Divine Timing, for I believe God knows best when I am sincerely ready to make the amends and when they are ready to hear it. Ask if they would be willing to hear my amends for, they might not want to see my face. If they are OK with it, I make amends and ask if I have left anything out. Then I listen. I ask, what can I do to make this right? Bring some good that they have brought into my life to the amends if that is appropriate. Always leave outcome in God’s hands.
The 9th Step promises found on pages 83 – 84 of our AABB do come true IF I am willing to do the work for them.
Thank You Dear God my Friend, and so it is, Blessed be. Michaeline, Recovering Compulsive Overeater
Disclosure: personal stories express the experience, strength, and hope of the individual member and not of OA as a whole.